presumption

Every once in awhile

(more often than I like to think)

I decide that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Something must be wrong.

Perhaps I was careless.

Things aren't supposed to be that easy...

...that clear.

Decisions like what you're going to do with your life

shouldn't just happen.

How could I be so presumptuous as to think that I could teach...

...touch lives...

...actually make a difference.

I don't even know how to walk straight some of the time.

and then I remember

It's not even going to be me changing minds thoughts attitudes viewpoints anyways.

My responsibility is to love.

To love until I can't love any more

and then love more.

To be passionate about what I'm revealing showing unveiling discovering

and then give them the opportunity to join me

in my passion.

To care for those in my charge

as if they were my own children

and show it through caring about them

even if I can't express it as their parents can or should.

it's a shift of perspective

It takes God into account.

How do I forget His goodness so often?

He has taught me that maybe is alright.

Healthy even.

I can't ever know the completeness of a world without maybe

Not this side of heaven.

So I'm going to rest in the maybe and let him take care of the for sure.

He's the one I want planning my life anyway.

He's the one who will give me the strength to love beyond myself.

He's the one who will open their hearts minds ears hopes dreams aspirations.

Pure presumption for me to be nervous.

Not like I'll be the one doing the forging anyways.

I need only follow after.

Walk in behind Him into every classroom.

I can do that.

I may not be able to walk straight

but I can sure walk forward.