I'm tired. Weary. I want to be done and to roll in all this happening for years. Spread it out so I can actually taste it instead of making myself sick on it. Or I want to sift through it and throw away all the extra dirt that's just making these last months heavy and filling my stomach with mud.
I'm constantly telling myself, along with everyone else in this too-busy-for-you culture, that if I just get rid of that one thing here and that other thing there that suddenly everything will be feathers and woodsmoke and before you know it, you'll have savored life well and off to heaven with you. But what about the lives that we long...or lust?...after that are filled to busting with adventure, capture, and escape? Filled with doing and meeting and crying and dancing? We all want one of those lives too. Smoke and feathers sounds airy and fresh but not satisfying but then when we seek after the fullest life we end up trying to stuff our suitcase lives beyond capacity.
So where do you find the balance? The scriptures must say something about this, right? Hm.
Well, I just read about Gideon in Judges 6-8. He certainly didn't want to lead Isreal. He didn't want to fill his life to bursting with adventure and greatness. He simply wanted to stay where he was and do the necessary things to survive. However, God asked him to. He nudged him toward it. Actually, he basically forced him into it...gently, and with plenty of understanding explanations, but there wasn't a second option.
But when all is told, what good does that story say to our culture? To my culture? To my life that I have allowed to grow wild and chaotic and which I desperately need to prune? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps you see something. Perhaps I'll see something later. Perhaps tomorrow's reading will get me closer to an understanding of what to tear off. Maybe this is just one of those busy seasons in my life that I'm always being told about. Or maybe that's just a cover we like to use for all of this business that we conjure up so we don't have to think much about tomorrow and how it may not come because we're so busy with today.
I'm constantly telling myself, along with everyone else in this too-busy-for-you culture, that if I just get rid of that one thing here and that other thing there that suddenly everything will be feathers and woodsmoke and before you know it, you'll have savored life well and off to heaven with you. But what about the lives that we long...or lust?...after that are filled to busting with adventure, capture, and escape? Filled with doing and meeting and crying and dancing? We all want one of those lives too. Smoke and feathers sounds airy and fresh but not satisfying but then when we seek after the fullest life we end up trying to stuff our suitcase lives beyond capacity.
So where do you find the balance? The scriptures must say something about this, right? Hm.
Well, I just read about Gideon in Judges 6-8. He certainly didn't want to lead Isreal. He didn't want to fill his life to bursting with adventure and greatness. He simply wanted to stay where he was and do the necessary things to survive. However, God asked him to. He nudged him toward it. Actually, he basically forced him into it...gently, and with plenty of understanding explanations, but there wasn't a second option.
But when all is told, what good does that story say to our culture? To my culture? To my life that I have allowed to grow wild and chaotic and which I desperately need to prune? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps you see something. Perhaps I'll see something later. Perhaps tomorrow's reading will get me closer to an understanding of what to tear off. Maybe this is just one of those busy seasons in my life that I'm always being told about. Or maybe that's just a cover we like to use for all of this business that we conjure up so we don't have to think much about tomorrow and how it may not come because we're so busy with today.
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