the darkness lit up the sky

winter market

I am in no way an expert on the subject of working a winter farmer's market in Seattle. The strip of white tents is filled with folks who have braved the cold, snow, wind and - the coldest - clear blue sky. However, as time has moved forward, I have been able to glean some wisdom from these very same brave souls and would like to pass it on to you should you ever need it.

...

If you happen to be next to some amazing vendors, take them up on their offer of watching your booth while you dash inside the nearby building to sit on the heater. Take into account that you will be waiting in line for your turn.

If you can keep your heater going in the wind you can probably keep your toes from stinging.

By placing boxes at angles around your feet and thereby channeling the warmth from your propane heater, you may just feel a little warmth as well as keeping yourself from going numb. It's completely your prerogative whether you want to be numb or not. Personally, I try to avoid it due to the potential pain of the re-warming process.

If you can, hold the tongs for as short a time as possible. Because of the simple laws of thermodynamics, you will manage to get your fingers cold to the point of hurting but not to the point of numbness. This should be avoided.

Try not to burst into tears or become too snide when a customer calls over their shoulder to "stay warm!" as they head back to their warm homes after a quick sprint to get their vegetables. Also, under no circumstances should you think about how you have to stand there another four hours.

... 

Well, there you have it. You will now be more prepared than I was when I first stepped behind these tables. And you know? there are few types of work I like better. Granted, it's cold and there's pain and some frustration, but the camaraderie...

You may find stronger among soldiers, or arctic explorers, but farmers? They've got the average beat.

pumpkin pancakes

Recipes. They are wonderful things which allow for repeat results and controlled fiddling. And, every once in a while, I think about tacking this recipe down on paper. But each time I come to actually making them, I can't help but revel in the rhythm of making them by dash and handful.

So much of life feels dictated by rules, clocks, and calendars and it is a comfort, a little stick-it-to-the-man, to make pancakes without careful measurement -- or often, any measurement at all. Each time it's a toss-up as to whether they will turn out as I want... a good reminder that perfection is not a key element to joy or pleasure.

So I gather the ingredients, crack the eggs, beat in some pumpkin and honey, add a dash of baking soda, salt, and pie spice, then in goes the almond flour. It becomes about the silky texture of the eggs and pumpkin together, the subtle sweetness of the honey and clapping your hands to get the last little bit of cinnamon off your palms.

on a monday

We drove through misty rain, past clouds that wanted snow, and hills that promised nearby mountains. Weaving down highway two we came upon small train stop towns and all the scenes and views I spent so much energy trying to see even while in sunny Georgia. The characters in the piece I've been writing walk along these streets and watch these very trees turn in the fall. They stand on these porches and look out towards the ends of these roads.

It's good to be back.

too-hot cider and snowy trees

a family wedding

our coffee shop

The way the baristas know our names and we know theirs. How the coffee changes ever so slightly from week to week and I can tell the difference. How on the other side of the window walls the same people pass by every day - the woman with the cremoline slips and high heels, the plastic bag man, the bony runner with the jamaican flag slung around his shoulders. I know the details and thereby cherish a sense of possession despite my place as a simple observer.

Fog builds up on the windows on sharp days; the days when everyone buries their noses deep in their collar or wears their thickest socks.

While the long commute - two hours one way most days - can feel like hurtling into the great swirl of a storm where unpredictability has control, I can know that once I get down the hill, through the biting wind, and behind the door, it will be warm in the same way it was the day before. Even though my headphones are the little between me, cat calls, and screaming, the sleek shelves will still hold the same mugs and the tip jar will still be sitting on the counter. There will still be smiles and hullohs of recognition - deeper than obligation.

december

last month
> make an SCD yellow cake with chocolate frosting Dad wanted a trifle for his birthday so I made Comfy Belly's yellow cake, "frosted" it with lemon curd, and then layered it up in a trifle bowl. Still needs some fiddling, but I was delighted by the results.
> read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis (nope.)
> Gerard Manley! A collection of his work is finally sitting on my bedside table! Here's to future reading and quotes most likely showing up here.
> successfully photograph a wedding Here are my favorites.
> photograph more of Seattle Because it's so beautiful!

on the docket
> Start reading Gerard Manley Hopkins (but really)
> Write more letters
> Finish preparations for moving into an apartment in Seattle
> Experiment with apple cake

saturdays are for veggies and cake

I snapped this picture from earlier this month. The sun was out, the market was bustling, and the cookies were melting. Shoppers meandered down the long row of square tents, bobbing back and forth between samples of honey, cold beer, and brownies. 

But that was a month ago.

Today it was cold.

Waking up to snow turned to driving through it to standing for six hours in the wind waiting for the die-hard and sparsely scattered farmer's market shoppers to come by. Icicles dripped from our hand-washing spigots while ice formed in the buckets. Those vendors lucky enough to be working as a team took twenty minute shifts to go inside and stand by the heater.

It really is fascinating watching people deal with severe wind-chill. Some hide inside themselves, perhaps pretending they don't exist so that it is no longer a problem that they can't feel their nose or their feet. Others explode out into the space around them, laughing, dancing, and giggling their way through the numbness. 

not restful but full of peace

The trees have lit my walk to work these past few weeks through drizzle and mist. An old woman dressed all in black walks hunched against the wind, her black bags strapped to a pull-cart, yellow leaves wrapped around the wheels. People tumble into the shop glad for the warmth, the dry, and something good to eat. 

Thanksgiving is not a restful time for small bakeries. We're inundated with those who are desperately trying to please their inlaws and want someone else to blame and those who have found themselves alone for yet another holiday and have decided that they would rather it be by their own choice. But, even as hectic as it becomes, I find that there are endless things to be thankful for...from the woman who needed something for her vegan brother and I had just the thing she wanted to the man who told me a joke as I rung him up. The woman who sat down and had coffee on me because it was the first time she had gotten to slow down that day and the look on our bread baker's face whem she heard how excited people were about the loaves she has worked so hard to develop.

i'm holding on with my fingernails

Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.

Lamentations 3:21-24

buckeyes

In search of a candy of some sort that I could easily pack in lunches, and in a phase where everything I want to try making involves chocolate, I started experimenting with this recipe.

Buckeyes are a classic -- benefits of the nutrition of peanuts and the delight of chocolate. While I think it could probably use some more fiddling, I also think that nearly every recipe could use more fiddling. So here it is, most likely as finished as it will ever be though it may change in the coming months and years.

BUCKEYES 

recipe by Katie Ross 

makes about 12 candies

1/2 c natural, creamy peanut butter 

1/2 c honey 

1/2 c blanched almond flour 

1/4 t salt 

1/2 t almond extract 

1/2 t vanilla extract  

Beat or stir together until completely mixed and smooth. 

Place in freezer for 30 minutes to harden. 

Line baking sheet with parchment paper.  

Roll dough into 1 T balls and place on sheet.  

Place in freezer 30 minutes to harden. 

2oz. Unsweetened baker's chocolate 

Melt in double boiler or microwave.  

Completely cover peanut butter balls with chocolate. 

Return to sheet. Store in freezer. 

They will maintain their shape on a serving plate for an hour or so if the coating of chocolate completely covers the peanut butter.

november

last month
> find a Gerard Manley Hopkins' collection and put it on my "I'm actually going to read this" pile (While I looked all through a couple thrift stores, I haven't found a copy yet).
> find a good dinner roll recipe (I found some muffins...)
> find a coffee shop with good tea (These are sadly few and far between. I have only found one, Black Coffee, on Capitol Hill, and they closed this month. Mfff.)
> try a peaty scotch Not my favorite, but I am so glad I tried it. Somewhat like drinking a campfire in the best kind of way.
> read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis (Nope.)
> read A Movable Feast by Ernest Hemingway I quite enjoyed it. While it probably won't get onto my once-every-couple-of-years rotation of favorites, many of the scenes have stuck with me, bouncing about my head. It may ask for another reading soon.

on the docket
> make an SCD yellow cake with chocolate frosting
> read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
> Gerard Manley!
> successfully photograph a wedding
> photograph more of Seattle

stories out the bus window

The couple out on a Friday night, dressed up but solemn, their hands held but straight down, the woman pulling him behind using the leverage of her elbow.

The determined, stuttering man speaking with the bus driver, his chin pushed forward between hunched shoulders, speaking about the northern lights. "Bye angel," he said as he got off, tapping a pair of dress shoes against the window.

The brand new family of three struggling to master a baby carrier as they stand next to a huddle of bikers and a blue-tarp tent of the man who claims the park as home.

chocolate pumpkin pie

A furtherance of my chocolate experiments and renewed love of Chocolate Covered Katie: this chocolate pumpkin pie. The first thing my mother said when she tasted it was "we need to put this on our Thanksgiving list." And let me tell you -- that list is guarded carefully. 

This pie in a word? Decadent. Smooth, rich, and sweet and yet without the heavy-tongue feeling of a chocolate chess pie or sugary pudding. It would also make a delightful pudding all on its own without the crust.

I only made a couple changes to the original recipe, the biggest being switching out the one cup of chocolate chips with 4 oz. of baker's chocolate and adding honey for a touch of sweet. I am also interested in trying it in a traditional crust. I made it in this chocolate pie crust this time, though I would like to try it in a traditional crust as well.

NO-BAKE CHOCOLATE PUMPKIN PIE 

recipe modified from Chocolate Covered Katie 

makes one 8-in pie 

4 oz baker's chocolate 
OR (for a slightly sweeter, silkier pie)
12 T cocoa powder
4 T coconut oil

Melt. 

15 oz (1 can) pureed pumpkin 

1 t vanilla 

1-2 t cocoa powder 

1/4 t salt 

1/2 c honey 

Combine all ingredients and blend in a food processor until silky. 

Pour into pie crust and fridge until chilled.

pears

So many memories from my growing up years center around fresh fruit in the house or the delicate balance of eating a burstingly ripe peach in the car. Pears especially have always tasted like a luxury to me. They take vigilance, patience, and care to eat or pick at just the right moment but oh how worth it that moment is. 

One pear tree sits in the row of apple trees behind our house and this year we got them before anything else did. Then there they sat on the counter, sweetening, and softening, and then they were gone. We didn't try to make anything out of them -- they were too delicious all on their own.

chocolate pie crust

I have recently started trying chocolate. Yes, shocking perhaps, but I did some research. 

While the specific carbohydrate diet does not allow for chocolate or cocoa powder, even in its unsweetened forms (though more recent research seems to agree that unprocessed cocoa butter is legal), many people have found that they have been able to add chocolate to their diet once in remission without any ill effects.

So I tried it. 

And it's been wonderful.

This pie crust is completely traditional SCD legal except for the two tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder and is a good place to start. It would go wonderfully with a traditional pumpkin pie filling. And just wait for the other filling I used in this crust!

RIDICULOUSLY EASY CHOCOLATE PIE CRUST

recipe by Chocolate Covered Katie

makes one 8-in pie

2 T cocoa powder 

1/2 c raw cashews (or almonds, walnuts, pecans, or macadamia nuts) 

1/2 c shredded coconut  

1/8 t salt 

scant 1/2 c pitted dates

Combine all in food processor and blend. 

Transfer to 8-in pie dish 

smush into pan and pour desired filling on top or refrigerate until ready to use 

october

last month
> get a job. still loving it more each day.
> start reading Gerard Manley Hopkins. (not even a little bit.)
> write something on physical paper other than a grocery list. (nope.)
> photograph the beginnings of fall. I did photograph the beginnings of fall. I however did not post it here. So sorry. I hope to be able to put some up when work isn't as crazy.a
> discover a new corner of Seattle. So much Seattle! I went up in the sky and all over the place.  favorite corner however that I had never poked into before was Fremont. And really, I haven't even scratched the surface there.

on the docket
> find a Gerard Manley Hopkins' collection and put it on my "I'm actually going to read this" pile
> find a good dinner roll recipe
> find a coffee shop with good tea
> try a peaty scotch
> read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
> read A Movable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

long day

Up at four this morning.
A hearty cup of tea and Ella Fitzgerald.
Four total hours on the bus today.
Home by six fifteen.
Baby food and gluten-free flour on my clothes this evening.

A day full of blessings.

rolled out like a map

My roomie's brother visited this week. Up and down the hills, finding dead ends, and getting as high as possible in buildings became our modus operondi. 

One of my favorite finds of the week? This book in the government records section of Seattle's central library.

Coming to the last day of his visit, we were determined to get up as high as we could to look across the city. This is what we saw. From King Street Station to Pioneer Square, Bellevue to Olympics, all laid out for us to see.